Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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