so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
