Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
