We need to rekindle our bromance
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
