youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
