Im at strip club and am horny
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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