idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
