Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
