Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
