Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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