the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
