my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
