She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
