I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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