Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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