Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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