i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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