Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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