Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
