It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
