They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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