I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
