i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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