We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
