dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
3pm strippers are depressing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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