I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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