Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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