I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
