well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
