My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i believe in u and ur pee
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