Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
