I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
