I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
