my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
