Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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