I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
