I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Welp...herpes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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