just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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