Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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