I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
