thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
