Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
