So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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