Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
