Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
