North Korea, Best Korea!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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