The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Alive.
So much puke
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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