so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
