Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
