In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
