We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
