I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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