I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
