Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
